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Even then, Nlack understood that it was racial, but there was a disconnection from my personal reality. No matter how much more commonplace relationships between black men and white women become, the historical context always gives them a rebellious, taboo component that, honestly, kind of adds to the fun and excitement.

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I'd let her know when Ma be outside. The mah of a black Dating black man in a relationship with a white woman is a "thing" that people have an opinion on, and that opinion comes with an entire set of stereotypes, fueled by racist ideology, a Datig past, and sometimes even pop culture. I thought this girl was hot because of her freckles and I thought that girl was hot because of her soft hair or whatever and I just wasn't in fifth grade thinking about the racial ramifications of features that I found attractive. Lupita N'yongo is hot and so is Allison Williams. I was consuming all of this media and I could just sense from the adults around me that, as a black person, when I was watching TRL, it was expected that I be more attracted to the girls in Destiny's Child than Britney Spears.

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